I Have Never
by Pouf Forayer
Summary: The drinking game. A way to ensure someone gets hurt. "I have never seen Uhura in her underwear." - Spock/Nyota. /ONESHOT/


* If you do not know the rules of '_I have Never . . ._' look at the info at the bottom of the page.

** I Have Never . . .**

_.Chapter One._

* * *

"I've never bitten my tongue." Dr. McCoy looked at the four other participants, waiting for at least one of them to take a sip of undeniably strong whiskey that planet Bacchus was known for. All took a sip except for the ever cold Spock, who of course was far to dignified to bite his own tongue.

"C'mon Bones, stop with the boring crap." Captain Kirk said after begrudgingly swallowing his whiskey, his voice was hoarse from the beverage's strength.

The game was simple. It had been a common game Kirk had first played when he was seventeen, and had been fond of it ever since. It would be his first time playing it in a long while, especially since the _USS Enterprise_ held a semi-strict no alcohol rule. However, he found an opportunity too initiate his beloved game when the ship docked at the planet Bacchus for repairs.

He had bought Spock, Sulu, Bones, and Scotty to a busy bar - he had said that they needed to go over '_Intimate Details of the Ship_' - of course that did not happen. It had taken some nudging on his part to get the Ice Prince, Spock, but in the end the hybrid had agreed, although hesitantly.

Now they say at a round table, all of them busily searching for scandalous '_I have nevers . . .' _in their heads that would surely embarrass whoever drank to it. The best part? The cups were rigged to know whether or not a person was lying. The tall shot-glasses were wired with built-in lie detectors that would flash red several times if the person did indeed lie. It was a crafty little device that Kirk had bought specifically for the reason of the game.

He had told the others in the beginning, and if they took their hands off their cups they would automatically be disqualified. It was established from the start that whoever lost first would have cleaning shift on the _Enterprise _for the next two weeks.

It was Sulu's turn.

"I have never done it doggy style."

Kirk and Scotty drank, each of them putting down one finger in the process. Kirk turned to three who hadn't taken a drink and croaked, "You don't know what you're missing, that's the best position!" Scotty nodded accordingly.

They had all started with five fingers up. Scotty and Sulu were at three, Dr. McCoy was at four, and Kirk himself was down to only two digits up. The only one who had yet to put down a finger was Spock. Spock sat collected and calm, donning that '_I'm superior to you_' aura that he always had. The others were busy trying to clear the burning sensations in their throats.

"I betcha you're cheating!" Scotty tilted his glass to the composed half-Vulcan. His accent springing into an accusing tone.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "How is it that you are so sure?"

"They probably taught that kinda ruckus, ya know, foolin' lie detectors on your old planet!" Scotty avoided saying the word 'Vulcan'. Although it had been a year since the incident of his planet being destroyed, it was still a sour subject for Spock.

"I assure you, that such things were not in the curriculum when I was a child."

"Alrighty, but I do know a surefire way to make ya drink."

It was Scotty's turn soon enough.

There was a devious look on his face as he looked pointedly at Spock, a cheeky smile on his that highlighted his ruddy cheeks. "I have never . . ." he paused to add building tension.

" . . . seen Uhura in her underwear."

The whole entire table turned to look at Spock, who in turn sent a near death glare to the Scotsmen. Slowly, but surely he grasped his glass and took a drink. Immediately he winced, there was liquid fire in his throat. He was unflustered barely a millisecond later.

Scotty smiled triumphantly.

Then there was a bright red flashing light from the opposite side of the table. They all turned to look at Captain Kirk who appeared as if he had just seen the most horrifying thing in the world. His eyes were wide as he tried to hide the blinking cup. _Liar! Liar! Liar! _

Kirk cursed bringing the damn cups in the first place.

When the flashing had finally stopped, Kirk looked up to see the faces of his comrades. Sulu, McCoy, and Scotty continuously moved their eyes from him to Spock, and back again. Spock sat perfectly still, the model of calm. Yet one could feel the animosity that spread into the atmosphere.

"Captain," Spock began, abandoning his cup and setting his elbows on the table, where he then leaned forward, "Please inform me to as why your cup was flashing."

Within a beat of the silence, Sulu turned an irritated face to Scotty - "Wow, you are such a dumbass."

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I will update with a second chapter soon.

.Poufforayer

The 'I Have Never . . . rules'

The game is started with each player putting up 10 fingers (five in this case) Then, one player says a simple statement starting with a phrase similar to "Never have I ever," such as "Never have I ever kissed." In this case anyone who _has_ kissed must drink and put down one finger. Play then continues around the circle and the next person makes a statement. The game ends when any player ends up with all 10 (5!) fingers down, and he or she is the loser of the game.

Reviewing is appreciated. :)


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